Self-Awareness – The Importance of Learning it for Autistic People

Hi everyone,

The first post of 2018 on this blog will briefly discuss the importance of self-awareness and why it’s important for autistic people to develop this skill. This is something that I have personally undergone a lot lately so it has given me food for thought, hence the inspiration for this post.

Self-awareness is a powerful thing to have and to be able to utilise it is powerful as it can shape your personal development, career path, social interactions, romantic life (if applicable) as well as understanding certain events from the past (which helps avoid ruminating). The meaning of self-awareness, as defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary is “an awareness of one’s own personality or individuality.” In other words, somebody realising whom they are and what makes them unique.

Autistic people are one social group that need to learn this skill more than others. There are a few reasons. Firstly, listening to perspectives from other social groups won’t apply fully (if at all) since each group has differing quantity and types of struggles they face (ie. Women, PoC, LGBTQ+) despite some overlap in places. Secondly, even within the autistic community itself, every autistic person is different because autism is a spectrum. Therefore, every autistic person needs to learn how their autism affects them uniquely. That said listening to other autistic peoples’ perspectives is important as some individual traits/quirks are relatable. Thirdly, this helps with personal development – namely, the autistic person finding out what life they want to live by finding out what works for them, what they like, dislike etc. and making themselves happy. This can take decades and that’s okay, there is no rush to do this.

The biggest reason though is self-acceptance. Once an autistic person understands and accept themselves the obstacles of life become easier to accept. This especially applies when it comes to masking as an allistic as this only can be done by autistic people for so long. Do you not want to go out and socialise like many extroverted allistics? That’s fine. Find something else that makes you happy such as engaging in a passionate hobby. Self-acceptance involves being happy with yourself and not worrying what other people think even if it deviates from “the norm.”

However achieving self-acceptance is much easier said than done especially with how society at large treats autistic people. This leads to additional obstacles such as anxiety, depression and internalised depression being placed in the way. However autistic people are awesome in their own way and they deserve to be self-aware just like allistics. In that way autistic people that are able to overcome/manage these obstacles are mentally stronger than many neurotypicals.

A final point worth noting regards advocating themselves to others. This is so they can be understood, validated and helped if need be. Because of this, it is important for those around them to accept what the autistic person says – friends, family, carers etc. One important message I have to say to those people is this – disabled/neurodiverse people know themselves best. They know their limits, their likes/dislikes, goals etc. They may not be able to put it into words but they have some idea even if they cannot form it. Sometimes you can help them do this but that should only be done if they are asked. Never invalidate their feelings or try to convince them or others that their feelings are what you believe they are. This contributes to some of the obstacles described above.

Either way, that is all for today. Hope 2018 treats you all well!

Best wishes,


University Education & Autistic Burnout

Hi all,

Today’s post will be breaking an unintended post drought as I am currently recovering from a burnout during my term at university and I’d like to talk about it in the hope that people will understand it a bit more. The following is written from the perspective of an autistic/ADHD student in the British university education system.

Firstly, I am going to give a brief summary of the UK university education system for the benefit of international readers. This system gives a lot of power to the student. For example, attendance isn’t monitored as strictly as lower down the education ladder. There are also less deadlines overall however the tasks are usually large and contribute larger percentages to your overall grade (ie. x2 2000 word assignment that are 25% of your total grade each, alongside an end of year exam). Exams are also longer and larger than lower down in the education system. Attendance and classroom participation generally is not factored into the overall mark towards modules whereas it is in other countries. In other words, it’s a very laissez-faire style of teaching.

Secondly, for those that don’t know, executive functioning is the ability for somebody to adequately function as a human, mainly revolving around organisation. From an autistic perspective, this mainly involves masking as a neurotypical which is very demanding for those on the spectrum. University is very demanding on executive functioning hence it can be quite difficult for autistic people. An autistic burnout is when this process fails and the autistic person starts regressing on their social skills and overall functioning as a person. This can be shown through tiredness, becoming disconnected from their surroundings and avoiding social interaction (even if it’s important). Other aspects include the deprioritisation of health & hygiene, social life, sleep, time for hobbies/passions or even the degree itself. Burnout also increases the chances of failing and having to drop out of university altogether. This is something that is not uncommon for autistic university students with the workload often overwhelming to the point where they have to drop out for the sake of their health.

In my case, it takes me forever to do my work. My attention span is all over the place as I am essentially learning to work by myself and concentrate which is something that is not often taught lower down in the education system. This especially applies if you go to sixth form rather than college. Social life being deprioritised is a double edged sword. On the bright side, this is a valid reason to avoid potentially overwhelming environments (parties). However, having to pass on attending society activities may mean missed opportunities to make memories/friends. Most of my fresher’s year was spent adjusting to doing assignments and not actually making many friends. This is only compounded by the other difficulties that occur by being autistic. Social skills can be built on in university as well as opens the potential for friendships with other autistic/neurodivergent students as well as international students or even future romantic partners (if interested!).

University is also a very important building block for learning independence skills. Learning to cook, wash, manage money etc. are all important and are also things that aren’t properly taught in school or even by parents/carers. Learning these skills are also demanding on executive functioning and may be more or less demanding than the academic side. There are possible solutions to help with this though – they include living at home and commuting to university daily as well as having preparation at home prior to going to university (even if that means delaying going to university in the first place!). Of course, this depends on the person. Others may wish to not go to uni at all and move straight into work or do something else.

Of course, this hasn’t doesn’t factor in support from universities. This varies widely around the country and the world. Things like mentoring and additional support from university services can literally make the difference between the student succeeding and failing. Mentoring can help with working out how to approach assignments or social situations. Getting the right accommodation for exams is also important which can include carrying them over from GCSE/A-levels. While I didn’t run into many issues, university services can and should aim to do better as not everyone will have a positive experience.

To conclude, burnout in autistic university students is something that exists and should not be underestimated. If you’re at university and you see an autistic student struggling with their degree then this is a possible reason why. This especially applies in the later years when the workload gets more demanding and they have to learn to adjust to this. In my experience I’ve managed to adapt as time has gone by but it is a constant battle. I have a couple of friends and am overall enjoying university.

That’s all for today. I hope to be back on a regular posting schedule soon.

Best wishes,



What’s in a Name?


Hi all,

This is the first post I am making here on my blog “Subtle Writes” therefore it needs to be an important one. So, I thought that I would discuss my thinking behind the name of this blog. After all, a name is after all an important aspect of a site and is critical to the first impressions of my site.

The name essentially is a combination of my ideas behind “Subtle” and “Writes.” “Subtle” was hard to come up with, as I wanted an internet username that I felt matched my life experience to some extent. One word eventually spoke to me metaphorically speaking – that word was “subtle.”

The dictionary definition of “subtle” (via The Free Dictionary) consists of the following.



adj. sub·tler, sub·tlest

  1. So slight as to be difficult to detect or describe; elusive: a subtle smile.
  2. Difficult to understand; abstruse: an argument whose subtle point was lost on her opponent.
  3. Able to make fine distinctions: a subtle mind.
  4. Operating in a hidden, usually injurious way; insidious: a subtle poison.
  5. Archaic – Characterized by skill or ingenuity; clever. Crafty or sly; devious.

I feel that the majority of these definitions matches my life experience. I find some things very difficult to describe sometimes, especially if it is a feeling or another abstract concept that I have not felt before or feels overwhelming. My mind can be very sharp towards the little details sometimes and quite clever though I can also be difficult to understand too.

Continuing on with regards to cleverness this can also lean into the territory of “special interests.” To understand my thinking here, ask yourself this. If you know an autistic person in real life, what are they really passionate/skilled/knowledgeable about to the extent that others know about it and it forms a large part of their identity? For me it’d be something along the lines of “Oh, [Subtle’s] the one who plays those obscure anime games.”

As for the injurious and crafty definitions, I do not feel these apply to my choice behind the name “Subtle” at all. Firstly, I do not believe they match my personality. Secondly, while there are autistic people whom are sly, devious and like to cause injury to others, autism itself is not responsible for that. This is because there are other factors at play that can cause those behaviours to surface such as the way someone is raised and what traits, if any, are inherited from the parents. This also applies to neurotypicals as many of them are sly and devious too.

On the other hand, “Writes” was fairly easy to come up with. My online name is Subtle and I write stuff. Hence “Subtle Writes.” I did consider “Subtle Writing” but then “Subtle” would have a different meaning and it wouldn’t flow as well. I preferred “Subtle Writes” at the end of the day.

Remember as autism is a spectrum it is important to note that no one person’s experience of autism will be the same as another. Everyone is different and this blog’s purpose is to convey one person’s knowledge and experience of living as an autistic person with ADHD to help spread awareness of those conditions. Therefore the name “Subtle Writes” is personal to me and brands my story. Being an actual autistic person means the best perspective I can offer on autism is my own and it has value. That applies to anyone who discusses any physical/mental conditions they have. Hopefully this blog itself will help others to understand autism in general with another case study to help relate it to.

That’s it for today. I’ll be back soon with more content.

Best wishes,

-Subtle (@subtle_writes)